Car wreck

I had to inspect an office in my old home town the other day, and OH what a joy that was! *insert sarcasm here* Anywho, I had a nice lunch with one of my old school friends and then drove around and remembered my first major car accident. I was 16 and dad had bought me a 1970 Chevy Monza. (Yes...I said MONZA) Much like Nightmare, my car was a lovely shade of turd brown. It must have been a popular color, back in the day.

I left home for an evening out and not even 5 miles down the road at the T junction, I stopped. An old cotton head was in a pickup signalling to turn onto the road I was on. So, I proceeded to pull out...and then WHAMO! She ran right into my door, spinning my car a full 180 degrees. I looked up in the mirror and saw that blood was gushing out above my right eyebrow and my contact was floating on blood! IT WAS FREAKY LOOKIN! A friend of mine was working up the road and ran down to the accident. He called dad and the ambulance. The ambulance people apparently thought I was near death, as they shoved this huge heavy tarp thing on top of me and opened my door with the jaws of life. How cool is that?!?!? THE JAWS OF LIFE...yeah, it sounds neater than it actually was. It ripped off my door and they shoved me on this really hard board and stuck a big thing around my neck. We then proceeded to the hospital where I received only 8 stiches. I sat up and said "Damn, this was a brand new sweater!" (It was completely soaked in blood. Its amazing how much a cut in the head will bleed.

Well, I left the hospital with my friends and got a ticket for C & I. It didnt matter that her signal was on even after the accident. The cop said "Never trust a signal".

I had two black eyes and my head was really swollen. I didnt go to school, but a boy that I absolutely loved, more than life itself, came to my house. I almost died. He had come to look at my car. I thought..."Great, he doesnt give me the time of day in school, but comes to my house when I have 2 black eyes" I did what every love-sick teen does. I threw on some perfume and a pair of shades and went out to talk to him. Apparently wrecking your car is the way to a mans heart. He was ALL about it.

I guess the moral of the story is, if you want someone to notice you...wreck your car real good!

Stupid head cold

If you would like Instant Hateful behavior, just add one head cold. I am in a shitty mood now. I resent being sick. I feel like I exercise like crazy and shouldnt get colds or any other sickness. I SHOULD BE IMMUNED, DAMNIT! Well, anyway...I was the prize person at my meeting this morning as I blew my nose and sneezed about every 3 minutes. I'm pretty sure they tried to wrap it up more quickly than usual because of me. I have been frantically drinking water and other fluids in hopes to 'flush' out the poison. I have it in my head that I will just pee out the cold virus. I know it sounds silly, but I usually dont stay sick very long using this proven method.

How do you get rid of a cold? Btw...my nose is running and I'm sneezing ALOT. Contact is not helping.

12 Miles!!

Well, I ran 12 miles this weekend and I didnt die. I actually felt pretty good. I choked down this apple cinnamon energy gel at 6 miles (tasted like the inside of a McDonalds apple pie) It was really thick and hard to swallow. I think if I had more things to think about, it would maybe be easier. I tried the manilla folder idea and for about 3 miles it was great. I had not only envisioned what was inside the folder, but I had fully decorated it (several times) by the time I hit 4 miles.

I'm starting to think that runners really are crazy. To avoid my thoughts going to my leg pain, tiredness, or other negative stuff...I would try to think about anything else. And it was starting to get a little bit weird. At first it was normal stuff like how I would redo someones yard or guessing who drove what car. Then I would wonder if I could live in a certain ditch or if I could fit in drain pipes. I wont even tell you the other stuff. You may not come to my blog anymore. Lets just say...2 hours is a long time to 'think'.

Men in diapers

Well, I'm not sure if you're a CSI fanatic as I am, but I thought I would write about last nights episode. Mainly because it was so completely upsetting. Apparently, there are stores that sell adult size baby stuff (including diapers, playpens, bottles, etc...) AND, there are grown men who somehow 'like' being dressed like a baby and held and fed and other shit like that. Apparently, most of these men weren't loved as a child or some crap like that. Also, they said it isnt a sexual thing, but a nurturning thing. I like to call it a psychotic thing.

Anyway, after watching a 300 lb. man run around in a diaper and 'do a stinky', I was pretty much freaked out. I'm kinda sad that I lost an hour of my life last night watching such a disturbing episode. I love you CSI, but DAYUMMM!!!!

Close to puking

Well, a funny thing happened to me this morning. I was driving to work and all the sudden it felt like someone had stabbed me in the forehead with a red hot saudering iron. Then there was this horrible pressure right under my eyes. "Oh great" I sighed "a sinus headache". So, I go to the gas station and buy some Tylenol Allergy Sinus and take them immediately. A little after 8 my sister comes by and we proceed to laugh and talk about Survivor and other important stuff like that. THEN ALL OF THE SUDDEN...It hit.

I had this horrible urge to puke. I told her I had to use the restroom and went in and drooled for a few minutes. I came out sat for about 15 min. while my stomach felt like a midget was inside tap dancing. I went to the restroom again and stuck my fingers down my throat and proceeded to gag and spit a little. (I know, you're glad I gave you a visual) Then I went back to my office and ate 3 saltine crackers. About 5 minutes later, I felt like a million bucks.

I guess the moral to the story is.....before you pay the hospital thousands of dollars for a room and stomach pump, just eat a few saltines. They are obviously the secret noone knows about. I hope this helps you out in the future.

YAY its Wednesday!

Well, Its another Wednesday and one of my favorite shows is on. LOST!

Episode 16: Outlaws Kate and Sawyer divulge dark secrets to each other while tracking a renegade boar that Sawyer swears is purposely harassing him. Meanwhile, Hurley and Sayid worry that Charlie is losing it after his brush with death, and a shocking, prior connection between Sawyer and Jack is revealed. Original US Airdate: 16 February 2005
LOST

Dont forget to watch!!

~Valentines Day~

Another Valentines Day! I tried to think of the perfect gift for my sweetheart and ended up getting him a mini fridge for his office. I know what you're thinking..."thats not very romantic". Well, it really isnt very romantic, but he LOVED it! So I guess thats all that matters. Hope you all have a sweet Valentines Day! Let me know what you got your 'loves'. Maybe I can use your idea for next year.

I, for one, have a meeting to go to! Whoopty Doo!

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

Check out my fetus!

Well there has been a couple inquiries about my adopted cow fetus. (cute, isnt he?!) Well, here's the story.

It was a blustery morning and I was feeling 'that loneliness' again. It was worse today than usual. I took a shower and then turned on the radio and listened to 'Down Under' by Men at Work and almost felt good again for a couple minutes. I was singing along..." Buying bread from a man in brussels, He was six foot four and full of muscles I said, do you speak-a my language? He just smiled and gave me a vegemite sandwich" Then I remembered that veggie mite was this disgusting black yeasty paste, far from our beloved peanut butter, and sunk back into my depressed state. My day continued with some poor service at the coffee shop and a dull morning of work. My lunch was uneventful as well, as I sat with the local paper and a chimmychanga. THEN, out of nowhere I saw it. A beautiful ad in the classifieds. I couldnt believe my eyes. Could it be???

Cow fetus needing adoption to a good home. I near fainted!! I immediately called the number. We met that evening and nothing could have been more perfect. The lighting hit the glass jar he was nestled in, like a beautiful star in the clear sky. His pink nose reminded me of this adorable pink silk blouse I bought on sale. And his eyes....ohhhh his eyes. They were like dark tiny pits that could suck you in, never to let you go. It was the answer to my prayers. The adoption went smoothly and "Spotty" now resides happily on my blog.

In case there was any question of my intentions, please know that I will hug him and squeeze him and kiss him and love him....till my dying day!

Back to the grind

Well I'm back from Atlanta. The plane ride there was ok. But Tuesday night I went to Azios to eat italian and drank several glasses of wine. Then I went to a jazz club and drank about 3 jack n cokes. I didnt think it was that much, but the next morning I felt like crap. No headache, just a tummy full of knots. We got on the shuttle bus thing to head back to the airport and I felt like I was gonna throw my guts up. It didnt help that the guy drove like a maniac. Well, I made it to the airport and ate a greasy piece of pizza and felt great.

We boarded the plane and for an hour I was fine, but my boss asked me to shut the window blind and then it all started. I shut the blind and started to feel really anxious and ill. For about 20 minutes I thought I was gonna have to use the 'puke bag'. I quickly opened the window blind and started to calm down. Which to me, is strange. I am terribly afraid of heights, but being able to look down on the little dots that were cars driving along made me feel better. When we landed my hubby and I were starving, so we went to Wendys and I felt great the rest of the day.

So there you have it.