~HUMP DAY~

Well, today is the day to celebrate Hump Day. Lets get ready for the rest of the week, by reading our horoscopes. Brought to you By Lloyd Schumner Sr.Retired Machinist andA.A.P.B.-Certified Astrologer [ I am Taurus :) ]

Aries: (March 21—April 19)When you're finally given the chance to run the entire circus, you'll be amazed at how quickly it goes bad on you.
Taurus: (April. 20—May 20)Through odd circumstances, you acquire a blowtorch, a case of razor blades, a cage of deadly asps, and a pint of cyanide, but since you didn't acquire any guts, they'll all just sit in the corner.
Gemini: (May 21—June 21)In spite of your incredible, God-given skill as a crane operator, you won't be able to pick up any girls.
Cancer: (June 22—July 22)Your illusions, innocence, and worldview will all be shattered this week in a bizarre accident involving your personality and some liquid nitrogen.
Leo: (July 23—Aug. 22)You'll find inspiration in the classic story of Great Expectations and go on to turn more wonderful novels into abhorrent movies.
Virgo: (Aug. 23—Sept. 22)You're aware of the wondrous healing powers of love, but you have a feeling you'll get more mileage out of the cooler transformative powers of hate.
Libra: (Sept. 23—Oct. 23)There is little you can do to halt your downward spiral of lassitude and inaction, but you don't really care.
Scorpio: (Oct. 24—Nov. 21)Frankly, it never occurred to you to win that special someone over with kindness and compassion—those things have never worked on you.
Sagittarius: (Nov. 22—Dec. 21)The stars could perceive six numbers that would be of great help to you in winning large sums of money, but somehow, they never get around to it.
Capricorn: (Dec. 22—Jan. 19)The funny thing about people trying to copy the famous crime of D.B. Cooper is that one of them slams down onto your head Thursday afternoon.
Aquarius: (Jan. 20—Feb. 18)You have an unhealthy obsession with getting everyone to like you, which might be healthy if you were any good at it.
Pisces: (Feb. 19—March 20)You'll be granted a momentary glimpse through the omniscient eye of the Creator, causing you to remark that now you've seen everything.